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Exercise 4 - Avoiding common errors in ACT introductory paragraphs |

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Instructions: Read the introductory paragraph and identify what the problem is. Click
on the EDIT PARAGRAPH button to make the necessary changes to improve the paragraph. To see
the essay topic, click on the SEE ACT TOPIC button. Click on the HINT button if you need information
about what is wrong with the introductory paragraph.
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Dear College President,
It has come to my attention that two proposals have been made
to improve student enrollment, either by attracting more students through an advertising campaign
or by improving retention through making counselors available to all students. It is true
that advertising may improve enrollment, but it doesn't guarantee retention. Therefore, I
am strongly in favor of expanding the counseling service. Students drop out of college because
of academic difficulties or because of hardships in their personal lives. I personally know
several students who have already dropped out of college because they were unable to handle
the pressure of studying added to their family responsibilities. One of these students, my
friend Walter, had to quit school last semester because he just couldn't juggle school with
the two part-time jobs he had. Walter desperately tried to fulfill his dream of getting a
college degree, but his obligations to his family made his goal unattainable. If there had
been a counselor to help him deal with the stress and frustration of his college life, he
might have chosen to fight to the end.
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